Rob Murphy: story of an Airman, lessons for all

by Lt. Col. John P. Zapata
86th Communications Squadron commander

As a squadron commander, I’m expected to be the visionary, all-knowing leader of my unit. I’m expected to have the right answers and always know which course of action we should take.

Having been a squadron commander three times and served more than 23 years in the Air Force, I sometimes falsely believe I have seen it all. The events of the past year have taught me otherwise.

I took command of the 86th Communications Squadron at Ramstein in May. Before taking command, I learned that one of my future Airmen was battling a very serious condition.

As the leader of the unit, I knew it would be my responsibility to ensure he and his family were properly cared for with a system that supported their needs. I never realized how much I would learn along the way.

Tech. Sgt. Robert J. Murphy was diagnosed with a very rare and aggressive form of sarcoma earlier this year. As a leader in the unit, active member of the community and an energetic member of his church, the news was devastating to all. Sarcoma is an aggressive form of cancer, which, in Rob’s case, metastasized to the surrounding veins and lungs.

As the condition developed, he also endured the spreading of cancerous lesions to the brain. This was a severe crisis for his family and heartfelt by the many men and women whose lives he had touched. I became one of the many touched by how Rob lived.

I visited Rob for the first time at a hospital in Homburg, Germany, where he received some of the best care available.

During this visit, I was amazed at the optimism in his voice and the courage he displayed. Make no mistake about it — this man was facing the fight of his life and yet he seemed to be so at peace and willing to smile. I was also not only amazed, but inspired by the courage, tenacity and unwavering support his wife provided as she sat by his side every day while continuing to care for and lead their three
children. 

During the course of the next few months, Rob’s condition worsened and he continued to deal with weight loss, weakness and side effects of the invasive treatments and severe medical condition. All the while, members of his church and Air Force family helped out in many small ways providing rides, meals and whatever assistance the family required.

I learned so much about service before self as I watched the situation unfold. I saw firsthand the amazing support some members of the unit provided. 

Personally, I felt more comfortable facing the dangers in Iraq than I did visiting my Airman at a hospital.

That was something I had to get past, and in doing so, the visits I had with Rob and his family always left me feeling like I gained more from them than they did from me. It was Rob and his family who taught me through their actions.
Rob’s struggle taught me much about family, courage and compassion. During the U.S. Air Forces in Europe squadron commanders’ course, Gen. Mark Welsh related some personal stories and stressed the need for commanders to learn and be a part of their Airmen’s stories.

He was so right, though I’ve always believed you have to love your Airmen to really provide for them. This direct personal experience cemented it and I believe made me not just a better leader, but, more importantly, a better person.
Rob’s story doesn’t have a happy ending. On the morning of Oct. 9, I was notified he had succumbed to the effects of cancer.

Of course, this generated a wave of activity as we began the process to return this courageous Airman to his final resting place in the U.S. Rob’s smile and the way he lived his life left an indelible mark upon my heart and the hearts of others. He was a prototypical Airman, father, husband and friend.

What remains are the lessons we can learn.  We certainly can’t know how or why something so terrible can happen to a 40-year-old man at peak physical condition with a wonderful family and seemingly everything right in his life. Those answers are beyond our scope. 

Rob and his family will always be a source of inspiration to me and I believe they provide some simple lessons for all:
» Maintain a positive attitude.
» Be courageous in all situations.
» Care for your people like there is no
tomorrow.
» Cherish your family — they will be there for you (that includes your Air Force family).
» Service before self isn’t just a saying —  think of others before you think of yourself.

Retired Gen. Don Cook used to say, “If you spend half your time taking care of your people’s problems, they will spend all their time taking care of yours.”

As Airmen, we must always be there for each other. Every Airman has a story and we must be an active part of it. In doing so, we support our mission, take care of our people and their families, and many times learn more about life and ourselves than we ever could have imagined.